May 2013
magicconchshell:
imagine if you went to go see a horror movie but it was just a slide show of your middle school selfies for an hour
bullied:
90% of the contacts in my phone are useless.
asap-tran:
really-shit:
If your phone gets wet, try putting it in a bag of dry rice. At night, the rice will attract Asians who will fix your electronics for you.
fuck
January 2013
Logs onto Facebook
open-creative-mind:
Logs off Facebook
Omg no.
how to seduce a man
avatargrimes:
morgstang:
turrets-syndrome:
look into his eyes
grab his waist
whisper sensually in his ear, “ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli”
this is why tumbr has a hard time getting dates
as a male, I’d be pretty damn seduced if this was done to me.
adrians:
it’s 4am and I just woke up to go to the toilet and the lights were all off and I was groggy and I looked downstairs and there was someone stood at the bottom and I shouted and nearly pissed myself on the spot but when I turned the light on and looked closer
it was just an bert hat and a coat on the bannister fuck you bert I nearly messed myself because of you
derekthereindeer:
why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone
i basically assume that people don’t like me unless they explicitly tell me they like me and then periodically remind me
just-frumpy-things:
Today a girl in my drama class said “how did people know what dinosaurs sounded like? It’s not like they had a recording of them.” And just wow I never thought I’d have to deal with that. The answer to that question is keeping me up at night.
I won't be impressed with technology until I can...
sodamnrelatable:
Having a bad day? Click here and laugh a little!
wheelsupinthirty:
it’s kind of ridiculous that we have to work our asses off for 13 years in school just to work our asses off for another 2-8+ years in college just to work our asses off in a job that we probably don’t even like, when we were born on this earth without a choice and i for one certainly didn’t sign up for that
sasssyslytherin:
what-about-fallout:
jesscats:
um the australian drinking age is 18 and the american one is 21 so hows your freedom feeling now america
It’s 21 because america cares about people knowing how it feels having a fully developed brain before you get the chance to destroy it unlike australia, so lets see were the concern for the health of your young citizens is working out.
...
whoismessingwithmybuckets:
pizzaforpresident:
It is so frustrating to be a Canadian. You are affected by USA politics nearly as much as as they are but have no say in the elections. It’s like being a Siamese twin to an angry self destructive alcoholic with a gun fetish.
Don’t worry Canada, the U.S. citizens don’t really have a say in U.S. politics either. It’s kind of like being the liver of...
frankpotion:
naps are a great idea until you wake up
hobovampire:
veronox:
hungarian:
testicles are actually filled with candy so hit them really hard with bats
dont do this
you just want all the candy for yourself don’t you
